A Full Day

Lately I've been really trying to wrap my head around what would constitute a day fully lived. I want to make the most of my time; recently I had the joy of preaching through Mark 1:15"and saying, 'The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe the Gospel.'" It is impossible for me to read this truth and not be convicted on what I am doing with my time. I want to joyfully glorify the Lord with every moment of every day, especially since I am not promised one more sunrise than I have already taken for granted. I pray there will be days that I live too fully to get a full night’s sleep. 

So with all that being said here's my working checklist on what I believe it is to live a full day, feel free to comment on what you like or what you'd add:

-Did I enjoy the Lord today?

-Did I love others?

-Did I love myself?

-Did I forgive and overlook offenses quickly?

-Did I build up anyone in their faith?

-Did I share the Gospel with anyone?

-How was my prayer life today?

-Did I read the Bible joyfully?

-Do I love Jesus today more than I did yesterday?

-How did I spend my time?

-Am I going to bed exhausted?

15 Things I've Learned From Chronic Pain

The last pain-free day of my life was sometime around the middle of November 2013, and since then I've been learning to live with Trigeminal Neuralgia and what it is like to always be in pain. To give you a brief idea of what a normal day looks like the first 30 minutes I'm awake I usually have a reprieve from most symptoms, and after that around 70 to 80 percent of the time I spend awake that day I will be in a varying degree of pain. Through walking in this for several months I have been able to learn alot about myself, God, and just life in general; so I figured it would be an interesting idea to chronicle some of these new things as well as some things I was reminded of here:

1. The world doesn't slow down because you aren't feeling good today, even if that's everyday. Figuring out how to suck it up is a life skill.

2. You aren't entitled to getting mad at people for not understanding what you're going through.

3. Romans 8:28 sometimes has a funny way of playing out.

4. God isn't any less good if I don't get better.

5. Everyone is struggling.

6. Jesus suffered way more than I ever will.

7. I am desperately and perpetually in need of the mercies and grace of Christ.

8. Long-term suffering will grow you up in a short amount of time.

9. You can be sad and still have unspeakable joy.

10. You can suffer well when you make much of the Gospel and what it has to say about suffering.

11. You begin to thank God for things you used to take for granted, like time you aren't in pain.

12. Suffering is not a free excuse to treat people however you want. Jesus asked God to forgive the people who were crucifying Him.

13. You will lash out at some point when you get overwhelmed, so learn to apologize for that instead of making excuses.

14. Other people who are hurting are going to look at you and see how you handle your suffering, so make much of the opportunity to show people there is always hope in Christ.

15. At the end of the day, God is still God, and that really is enough reason to have joy.

When a comparison is better than a dogmatic dichotomy of a theological thesis

There are alot of pastors and authors out there who use there words carefully and eloquently in order to preach the Gospel message. Some of them use artistic allegories appealing to the deepest parts or our humanity, others offer a bluntness that can be appreciated by those who don't want to to have their time wasted, and some even choose to use a refreshing sense of humor that keeps everyone engaged. Whatever your style is, and whoever you are, be you C.S. Lewis, Matt Chandler, or 17 year-old kid; one imperative thing remains the same. The clarity of your Gospel presentation must always come before it's beauty. If what you're preaching sounds super deep and intelligent but nobody can walk away from it and easily understand that Jesus the son of God died for their sins and rose again so that they can be saved by grace through faith, then what you're really preaching is the gospel of you.

Personally this is something that is constantly at the forefront of my thinking, even now as I write this blog. I am not gifted with ability to paint or to play any sort of musical instrument, but I do believe the Lord has blessed me with some speaking and writing skills that will be very helpful for the calling He has placed on my life to be  a pastor. I am extremely thankful for these gifts and get alot of joy out of unpacking scripture on deep levels and using vivid illustrations to preach the Word of God. There are alot of other wonderful authors and pastors that I believe enjoy doing the same (and do a far better job of it than me). I do not think there is absolutely a single thing wrong with doing any of this if your intention is to create a greater and clearer understanding of the Bible and God. With that being said, one of my greatest fears is that one day as a pastor I will get up in front of a church and preach something in an intentionally difficult way just so people will walk away thinking of me as "deep" or a "great theologian". I have to continually ask the Lord to reign over my preaching, not just on Sunday, but over every conversation I have. I have to continually pray that Christ would keep himself the center of my Gospel message, so that I might tailor my preaching to be maximally effective rather than maximally self-promoting. God did not call me to sound smart and make everyone think I'm a great speaker; God called me to love people and to preach the Gospel so that they might understand it and receive it.

 "For Christ did not send me to baptize but to preach the gospel, and not with words of eloquent wisdom, lest the cross of Christ be emptied of its power."
-I Corinthians 1:17

The Pastor

There is a holy weight to be carried in preaching the Gospel

I pray Christ would wrap me in this weight

That I would wear it well

That I would care deeply for the souls of men

Those souls I am called to tell

Not everyone gets healed this side of Heaven, and that's ok.

Suffering is understood to be a part of life, especially if you are a Christian. In fact if you read Philippians 1:29 it will say that suffering is granted to you, as in suffering for Christ is a gift. How does this work? Why would a good God have any of his people suffer, much less promise them they will, and then tell them it's a gift? The key to understanding the role suffering plays in the Christian life is found of course, in scripture.

I had the joy of getting to lead a bunch of awesome, crazy 8th grade boys at The Heights Baptist Church's Chi Alpha weekend the past few days. The speaker was fantastic, he punched me in the face with the Gospel. He was preaching the Word is ways that you don't hear people preach to students. On Saturday night I had stepped out during worship because I was in more pain than I could handle standing in front of booming speakers, so I have no idea how the speaker started off his sermon. When I came back in he was talking about the death of Lazarus and how Jesus allowed him to stay dead for a time before going to heal him. As he unpacked the beautiful story (You can find it in John 11 check it out, it's good stuff.) he made the statement that sometimes, the primary way that God brings glory to his name and works in the life of others is through the suffering of Christians. When he said that everything in my being rejoiced. I wanted to get down in front of every kid in that crowd that was hurting, look them in the eye, and tell them that it is absolutely true.

If you have talked to me at all in the last three months, you will understand where I'm coming from with this, and this paragraph will be very familiar. Back in November I was diagnosed with a condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia, a neurological disorder that affects the main nerve in  each side of the face. It's considered to be the most painful condition in humanity, and is relatively rare. Most days it is easier to count the hours I am not in pain, and if it isn't crippling then I'm counting myself lucky. It's set off by all kinds of things, and is treated with either neurological medication or brain surgery. More or less the way I will probably live the rest of my life has completely changed, and I have no way of knowing if it is going to get better or worse with age. So please understand that I am not a masochist or a sadist when I say this, but in more ways than one Trigeminal Neuralgia has been a huge blessing in my life.

I am a firm believer that there will always be the beautiful wounds that draw us close to Jesus. I have never had something in my life that causes me to daily acknowledge my dependence on the mercies of God in the way that Trigeminal Neuralgia does. I am really learning what it means to pray "give me this day my daily bread". A new friend I made at the Chi Alpha weekend reminded me of the truth in 1 Peter 4:12-13, that I can rejoice in my sufferings, knowing that through them the glory of Christ is revealed. With that being said I have never had something that so tangibly has allowed me to share the Gospel with others. Honestly I have gotten to tell an absurd number of people about Jesus all because I have a major nerve disorder. So it's not that I rejoice in being in constant pain, or do anything to intentionally deteriorate my physical state, but rather I am overjoyed to know that because of my suffering I am able to know Christ better and tell more people about the Gospel than I would have without it.

That being said, I have had a lot of interesting conversations with other Christians about my current state. I always feel loved and am encouraged when people want to lay hands and pray for me, I think both of these thinks are Biblical and I do believe that Jesus still does heal people. But when people ask me to tell them that I know I am going to be healed and am not going to have this the rest of my life, my response is a resounding "maybe". It's not that I don't believe God can heal me, it's just that I've read way too much of the Bible to believe that everyone is physically restored in their Earthy body. 11 of the 12 disciples were martyred, and that' just because they tried and couldn't kill John. Paul had a thorn in his flesh and asked God to take it away, to which God responded with "no" and "my grace is sufficient for you" as told in 2 Corinthians 12. Jacob wrestled God, and ended up getting a dislocated hip and limp that he walked with the rest of his life. Not everybody gets healed this side of heaven, and that's okay. It's okay because my faith isn't hurt in any way if God doesn't heal me, I've read Romans 8:28 I know God knows what He's doing. If Christ is more glorified in me being healed, then I'm all for it. But if the most glorious Triune God sees it fit that I walk with this for the rest of my life for the sake of his glory, then I pray the Holy Spirit would posture my heart to be like Paul's in his imprisonment described in Philippians 1:12-18, and let's go to work.

So going back to those students, the ones who know Christ and are seriously hurting right now. If I got the chance to look them in the eye and say just one thing to them, it would be this:

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed in us." -Romans 8:18

Into the fray

"And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." -Colossians 1:17 

Jesus. First and foremost, the entirety of my life, this blog included, serves to glorify and proclaim the name of Jesus Christ the Son of God, who is before all things, and whom in all things hold together. With that understood I would love to delve into the heart of why I decided to start this. I love words, written, spoken, drawn, I love them. This love, along with the nudging of friends whose opinions I trust, and an overarching desire to proclaim the Gospel in anyway I can, are the genesis of this blog. With that being said, my hope for this is that as I chronicle my walk and my struggles that I will be able to point people to Christ, that they may see that He is forever faithful, and constantly good. My prayer is that the trials in my life would ring out in a beautiful and noisy suffering that forever directs peoples hearts and lives upwards toward the most wonderful Christ, amen.